Intuition- Can Neurotics Trust Their Gut?
Are you suffering from some sort of Neurosis?
If you live in California or NYC...we know the answer.
But for everybody else....
According to traditional psychology...everybody can be described or diagnosed as "being off"
That's based on the the big manual that tells you everything that is wrong with man...but nothing about what is right.
Fortunately there has been a movement within the psychiatric community that emphasizes the positive sides of living. And...it's called...oddly enough...the Positive Psychology Movement. It's even big enough to have it's own conferences now!
But for the sake of explanation here, let's talk about disorders. And by necessity it's more of a shorthand conversation.
There are two types of Common Personality Disorders - Can You Tell The Difference?
#1 The Neurotic. He questions himself. And thinks he is at the root of all his problems.
#2 The person with a Character Disorder. They think lots of things are wrong. But they aren't to blame for anything. It's all someone else's fault. These are the people who the word Denial really fits.
If you're not sure which is which...try this.
"Neurotics make themselves miserable: those with character disorders make everyone else miserable."
Note: I'm not talking about the dangerous, psychotic people.
I'm talking about people who are so unsure of themselves...so uncertain...that for them life is a living hell because they're always questioning themselves...driving themselves nuts.
They convince themselves they are really "smart" because they're weighing the logical factors of a decision.
But if you don't have any discrimination...and weigh every factor completely...there is an unending stream of "on the one hand/on the other hand"...then what you end up with Neurotic Thinking...or a Tenured College Professor.
I was a debater in high school. You learn to see both sides of a position. Then you make your case for it. You can be on either side. But the difference is a Neurotic thinks they can be on both sides at the same time.
How To Tell If Someone Is Neurotic In Under Five Minutes
I have what I call the "What Do You Order For Breakfast" test. It's also a good way for sales people to tell how their customer makes a decision.
Breakfast is breakfast.
Eggs. Some kind of meat. Some kind of potato. Grits if you live in the south. Coffee, tea or OJ.
Okay...okay. Should it be Hash browns or Regular Potatoes. Or Plain Grits or Cheese Grits.
But it's the same choices everywhere.
It's simple.
Watch the person and see how long it takes to order.
If it's McDonald's, it shouldn't take you more than 30 seconds. You're there for fast food...fast service...limited choices. If someone takes 5 minutes to figure out what to eat....they'll never make a decision.
If it's a nice restaurant...there is some entertainment value in oohhhing and aaaahhhing over how good everything sounds.
But that's not a debate. Your making a choice.
If the person takes a lot longer than everybody else....or even worse...take a long time but then ask if they can change their order....it's a sign of a confused mind.
Where Does The Mind Learn To Think Neurotically...And What's The Answer?
Where do "Disorders" come from.
Easy question.
Childhood!
Doesn't everything come from childhood experiences?
I was thinking about this as I was rereading parts of the original "Road Less Traveled" the other day.
He made an interesting point. And I'll borrow it here because it makes a good distinction.
He says there are two types of Maladjusted people.
I don't like the term Maladjusted. It implies to me some sort of malignancy.
I prefer to choose Unadjusted. Because you were never really adjusted in the first place.
If you can't think cleanly, the chances are you were never given much of a chance or direction when you were young to experience the "middle path" of thinking. You were left in the Bermuda Triangle of Thinking. And that hurts because the "middle ground" is the baseline for happiness and self contentment.
Anyway, the types are useful for the conversation part.
The Neurotic tends to take on more responsibility than he is willing or able to handle.
"But isn't taking on responsibility a good thing?" Not if it's something you can't do anything about. Or it forces you to adapt in poisonous ways.
For instance your parents are always fighting...and you will take on the responsibility for their happiness.
But that's impossible. They're screwed up. No matter what you do...you can't change them.
But the habit is set.
You take on one responsibility...then another...then another...then you take on the whole world.
So How Does A Neurotic Respond To Intuitive Messages?
Can a Neurotic personality listen or pay attention to their Intuitive Voices.
Yes, they can hear them.
Yes, they do pay attention
But they have so much self doubt that they will use their Intuitive messages as one more weapon against themselves.
Now the self doubts cycle in deeper and deeper.
(I've often wondered if someone is Neurotic in some instances...are they neurotic in all?)
So if they're lucky...and desperate enough...or learn to calm their mind enough...the Neurotic person can learn that the Intuitive Messages are trustworthy. And act on those messages to bring a little Peace Of Mind to their lives.
I think one giant step forward is for people who self diagnose themselves into the Neurotic corner that instead of looking at it as some kind of death sentence...redefine it as your mind is identifying for you the areas of your life you can work on to help make yourself happier.
What About The "Others"... The Character Disordered?
By definition, the people with a Character Disorder don't cause any of their own problems. It's always somebody else's fault.
Neurotics, from their painful self awareness, say to them..."Don't you know you're in denial?" And are right.
But I'm not sure that they choose denial. To choose denial, you have to be aware of it. I would tend to think of them as more oblivious.
I don't know if these people are aware enough to know if their Intuition is talking to them.
If anything is talking to them...what they might call their inner voice...is probably just a variation of greed and ignorance crying out for more..under the guise of Inner Knowing. Their Inner Knowing is really Inner Demanding.
Do they hear their inner voice?
No
Would they act on it if they did hear it?
Not if it in any way interfered with their pleasures.
Thanks,
Intuitive John
Intuitive John
Do You Suffer From Nervousness and Anxiety?
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PS My personal feelings and experience tend
towards a mistrust of true Psychiatrists. As a group they seem to be
more screwed up than the general population. I think they're own
neurotic tendencies drove them into the field in the first place. In
the land of the blind. the sicker man is king?
PPS Wait...hold the late edition...I just found out the Neurotic is no longer an acceptable or widely used term. Now in order to further confuse the world and charge more...the Neurotic has been "Niched" into a variety of "disorders" : anxiety disorder; neurotic disorders; personality disorder; psychiatric disorders. For better "understanding"? Or just more prescription sales?
I don't know. But I still like Neurotic...and think most of you know what I mean...so I'll continue to use it.
Comments
Another very solid post, indecision is a curse for many. You have done a great job breaking this down.
And I'll have a Waffle House cheesesteak onion omelette, on the side, Diet Coke to drink...
Rob
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Angela R. Silvestri
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I enjoy every minute of it...
and so do those who find me funny
THANK GOD!
great communication, I-John,
All the best,
April Braswell
Online Dating Coach, Romantic Relationship Coach
Internet Dating Sites Guide, Online Personals Sites ReviewDoes a "normal" person have a bit of both neurotic and character disorder tendencies? Seems like a person would have to fall somewhere along the neurotic/character disorder spectrum.
Darryl Pace
Fitness for Business People
McDonalds Sausage McMuffin with egg value meal with coffee.
I love breakfast, but I don't like to wait for it.
Scott A Bell
The Road WarriorCindy
Cindy Eyanson Online
I hate when people take for ever to decide what it is that they want to eat. I guess I might just be boring I always will get the same thing when I go to subway
Matthew Shields
Energy Expert
john you are fabulous
www.kevinhogan.com
kevin
For me it either cheese or chocolate with herbal tea, whatever i feel like eating on the day. I find it difficult to eat meat or potato for breakfast
Improving Communication in Business and Personal Life
body language blog
I believe both "fruit loop" and "nut job" are also frowned upon, but I could be wrong... sometimes it's hard to keep up ;-)
Philip Graves [Consumer Behaviour Expert]
The Consumer Behaviour Research Resource
I'll have coffee, thank you! Some fruit if I'm really hungry. Veggie omelet if I'm really going to go whole hog. :-)
Jennifer Skinner
Wardrobe Planning Expert
Great post and very informative. I have someone close to me that I would consider to be a part neurotic part character disorder... It can be very difficult to deal with them at times...
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I think the dividing line is when they interfere with your life in ways that you don't want them to. Or maybe...you really want them to be part of your life so you don't let go of them.
Or maybe you're like April...and absolutely enjoy yourself. Other people may label you neurotic...but you know better.
Thanks
Intuitive John
Learn To Trust Yourself…and Your Intuition
Is Your Dog Neurotic and Stressed Out All The Time?
,Thanks,
Intuitive John
Learn To Trust Yourself…and Your Intuition
Is Your Dog Neurotic and Stressed Out All The Time?
There are several places I eat breakfast and I order the same thing each time. I've tried the other stuff...and my "regular" is the best. And when I get a Subway sandwich...there's only two I really like. And I can taste them in my mouth. Something to be said for consistency.
Thanks
IJ
I never even thought about a neurotic's intuition.
Lisa McLellan
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